The following is a guest post by Tyler Recker.
On this past Saturday, my wife and I suffered through the miscarriage of our 6 week old unborn baby.
But, man!, did she suffer well.
We are still grieving the loss, but we mourn with hope. We grieve with praises on our lips. We suffer through the sudden snatching away of all the excitement that we had, but we suffer through it knowing that God is still good, AND still good to us. We don’t know why, but we know the Who behind the why, and we are comforted.
I have said often before that you need to be theologically prepared for the valleys of life long before you get there. I am grateful for how my wife was.
I am grateful that my wife knew that we are wretched sinners that are owed no good thing by God, so that in our calamity she did not demand that God defend Himself for the circumstances that befell us.
I am grateful that my wife knew the absolute sovereignty of God so that “God is sovereign. He is in control.” was indeed a comforting statement, and not a bitter pill to swallow. Oh! How could I have comforted her otherwise? Had she not wrestled with His sovereignty in calmer times, how could I have comforted her?
I am grateful that my wife knew well the Cross, so that she knew (and knows) that “there is therefore now no condemnation”. Again, she nor I know they why behind this, but we know that this is not the curse of God aimed at us for our sins. God’s own son bore our punishment on the Cross.
I am grateful that my wife knew grace so well. She knew God’s goodness, so that she could say “He is still good! He is so good!” over and over while in the worst of the pain and agony. I am thankful that in the uncertainty before that she knew that if God did a miracle to heal her and the baby, then He would be good. But if God chose to allow us to suffer as we did, then He would be no less good.
I am grateful that my wife has known well the satisfaction and comfort of God being the Gospel. I am blessed that she has “tasted and seen that the Lord is good” so that she could cry out in the midst of her pain “Quote to me Scripture! Play some worship music!”
I am so grateful that my wife has suffered this tragic thing so well. In times like these, my vocabulary is insufficient to convey the truth. The words are simple enough to comprehend, but the depth of it all must be learned through life: God is good.
Some of you will undoubtedly think I write with too much levity, using this tragedy to make a pastoral point about the need for theology. Friends, I love you as brothers and sisters, but in thinking that you reveal your own ignorance of the goodness of God to comfort you.
Husbands, don’t let your wives walk through life unprepared for it’s storms. If a hurricane were coming, wouldn’t you put plywood on your windows? When life inevitably throws you hard times, won’t you please have your family ready for it?
Dads, don’t send your children into this world unprepared to deal with disaster. Where will they learn to deal with cancer, death, and miscarriages?
Men, know this. If you shirk this responsibility, then WHEN they face that time, and they don’t know how to deal with it…
you will wish then that you had made more time for teaching them the Bible…
that football game won’t seem as important…their sports leagues won’t seem as important…your job won’t seem as important…
…but you will wish that they knew deeply the truth of His Word and the comfort of the Gospel.
Our storm is not over. We are not healed. But I am full of faith that just as He has comforted us thus far, He will comfort us through this whole ordeal.